Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Stolen Signature

A plot for a new book from author Dan Brown

Inspired by the multiple articles and reports around the recent signing of the Domain Name System root zone and the incipient deployment of DNSSEC, which for many reporters and correspondents is the source for spin and numerous gaffes related to what was really done and what still needs to be done to have a fairly secure DNS.

Since many of these reports have a dose of science fiction, wrong or fabricated information adding to the confusion of the general public and casual Internet user, I decided to exploit my own creative inspiration for stupidity and posted some comments in Facebook about a suggested plot for a Dan Brown's book that could be called "The Stolen Signature"

The Plot:

A group of cyber terrorists kidnap and torture the seven templars of ICANN to obtain the smart cards holding portions of the magic key that protects the Internet Domain Names.

Meanwhile a group of VE, CU and NK Special Ops break into ICANN's east and west facilities and steal the HSMs (Hardware Security Modules), while Sigfried and Hans Hunter from KAOS take control over the K server in Budapest used to propagate a new fake DNS root zone and redirect all financial transactions and access to critical infrastructure control systems to a secret datacenter on the dark side of the moon built by the covert Chinese Space Domination Agency.

But they didn't take in account that Rod "Astroboy" Beckstrom had a secret DNS-CERT running on his backyard and after a period of Public Comment and Policy Development Process he was able to retain the outside consulting services of Prof. Langdon and Kaminsky the Wizard SecuGeek who established an ICANN Working Group that discovered that the entire operation of the cyberterrorists was developed using a pirate version of Microsoft Windows 12, that for backwards compatibility includes all the exploits of all previous versions of Windows, something that became a "feature parity" imposed by the evil twin brother of Mr. Ballmer.

Still thinking who could be a good female character. Somebody play by Angelina Jolie ??

OK, enough waste of time, going back to the grind ...